 
Balletlover - Balletmania
written by PC Police on 10.04. at 06:10:54 - as answer to: a tights laundry encounter by Seamless at >After she finished loading and started the dryer, she started walking by me deliberately. As I looked up she stopped and smiled, saying "Wow, that's a nice shade of red." "Thanks." "Are you a ballet dancer?" [At this point I'm struggling a bit to keep from getting all flushed from embarrassment, as this is the first time I've been caught in public washing my unitards and tights]. I thought, what the hell, let's be honest. So I told her "Well, no. Actually, I wear them for freedom of movement in yoga, and... I enjoy the feeling." (ok, a partial truth)>Well, she reacted with intrigue. "Oh. But why red? Aren't men supposed to wear dark colors like navy and black?" "Supposed to?" "Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed... do most gay men wear brighter colors?" Ha. Yeah, right. I laughed a little. "I'm not gay. Quite hetero in fact." "Really," she said, with a surprised look.>Then she asked "And you don't find any problem having girlfriends accept this?" "Well, I'm not dating anyone right now, but..." "If my boyfriend revealed something like this, we'd be through." "Why is that?" "This isn't what I'd call *masculine*. I think any guy expressing his feminine side by wearing feminine looking clothing is a real turn off." >I was surprised she said this, so I replied "Psychologically speaking, all women have a masculine side and men have a feminine side. It's perfectly normal. And my interest doesn't interfere with my sexuality." >"That's just text-book stuff. All I'm saying, is that in real encounters you are reducing your chances of meeting someone if you go running around in tights. Most women will think you've got a repressed gay side, or are have a feminine side yearning to get out. What's next, cross dressing?" "Absolutely not. I've only shared this with two women, and both were accepting." "Without hesitation?" "Well..." >Abruptly she said "If any woman you date shows that she accepts it, she's just tolerating it. Inside it probably bothers her but she's putting up with your thing. If you ask her what she'd think if you dropped it altogether, I bet you she'd be relieved." I came back with "That all depends on the person. What you say might be true for the circle of people you know, but it could be very different outside that." >Then she grinned. "In my circle there are very attractive and desirable men and women... a few you'd probably like to meet being an attractive guy, and I guarantee they'd all laugh at you if they knew you wear tights. I'm just saying you're cutting your chances down a lot." "Perhaps... but my feeling is that a woman who isn't threatened by this and accepts it is the kind of woman I want to be with.">"Like I said, you're reducing your chances by a lot. But anyway I have to run. Good luck with everything." "Yeah, thanks." And she left the laundry room. I knew she'd be back to get her clothes when dry, and I thought of a few comebacks... but I decided I was better off just leaving.>This was a paraphrasing... I can't remember all of the discussion exactly. But it was quite a discouraging encounter. :-(>It's things like this that sometimes make me feel cursed.>~Seamless~ As adults we are given the opportunity to ignore and disregard those people who would make us angry and unhappy. In day to day life this is a difficult thing to remember as we all must deal with so many morons but you must remain strong. Your happiness is not dependent on the opinions of others and if you ever need that sense of unconditional acceptance and comradery you can always look to the many friends you've made here on this bulletin board. Her hurtful words are only as powerful as you let them become. Answers to this message: |
