>>>Sorry, gotta add: the thing that is missing is an interest in sexuality as a worthwhile activity. I love pop music, for example, and I crave as many different types of it as I can find. I'm more fascinated by sex, and therefore I spend a lot of my time thinking about it, in all it's permutations. If you feel your paramour wouldn't accept your fetish which, once you ignore the APE (sorry, that term is going to come up from time to time now with me,) your fetish really ammounts to something in life you simply prefer, same as if you like chinese food more than any other type,) you've got to ask yourself (and evetually her,) why she feels this way, and be prepared for either a tough breakup, or a life with someone who's attitiude toward life's greatest and most basic joy simply doesn't sync up with yours. I've been there (for two frustrating years.) I'm never going back. Turn to my other post on this subject for the warmer, less manifestoey take on this!-Depon