>>Simon

May I suggest "mailbagging" him.  In Canada when I was in the Army, we would take a big Canada Post mailbag with a big ass drawstring on it, put it over the offender's head, zip it up tight, and then kick the shit out of him. It has some sort of metal slide lock on it, so the poor guy inside cannot possibly get out. :>)  If the US Mail bags aren't similar or widely available at surplus stores, you can easily use a sandbag or wool blanket!

I hate fags too.