>>So I've been instant messaging with the girl that I mentioned, and it was getting pretty down and dirty two days ago...I also casually asked if she went out for halloween, and she said no - not that into halloween anymore, blah blah blah...so anyway, we went back to "dirty IM" and eventually we even talked about "tying up" and things of that nature - more or less light kink...so, as I was on a roll - I went for it, and said, "we could pretend we're at a halloween party and both wear tights, and roll around and tie each other up...Crazy fetish I know, but hot I think for both of us. What do you think?" So I the message I get back - "we can try it." Ok, so not a particularly ringing or enthusistic "yes! yes!" but what do you expect. It was a start...we get back to dirty IM, and go back and forth on regular sex things...I think i went back to halloween for some reason, because of a friend, and how i didn't go out either or something, and she said "well, we can have our own little halloween costume party." Hmmmmm, getting better. I liked that comment. What do you think? Then,  being careful not to seem way way too excited about tights and costume wearing with her, we go back to other things...Finally, I say "oh by the way, once for a drama class I took they gave me two pairs of tan tights to wear for a part in a play (ok kind of a lie) and the one pair of tights didn't fit, so they'd be pefect for you. :))" I did that just to kind of drive the point home that I was serious, and to just see one final time if she was leading me on, or didn't think i was really serious, or what have you, and she said "perfect. I'll bring my own pair too." So that too, I thought was good. Very good. More encouraging than I would have thought. I'll still be nervous when the time comes, and I'm sure in the back of my mind think "she thinks I'm gay," or "she thinks I'm a freak," but hey, maybe not. Maybe I just take a deep breath and just get into it, please her, have fun myself, and we just get really erotic. I so much want her to get off on it and like it, but I know that's probably not that realistic. I just don't want her to tell anyone! We do have mutual friends. that would not be good.  Thoughts? Thanks!>>Todd>>>.>.>.>Sounds like you're on track! Congrats! And yes, you'll be nervous when the time c0mes, but that's what "pushing the envelope" is all about! Your obvious desire for her is going to leave no question about your heterosexuality. If she is going to be inappropriate and tell your mutual friends about your intimacies with her, then pretty much ANYTHING you two do is going to be a source of embarrassment for you. Is she the "kiss & tell" type? Perhaps you know, none of us do. Assuming things all c0me together, savor the "afterglow" with her, snuggle up, tell her how wonderful and free spirited she is, and how absolutely GREAT it is to feel safe enough with her to trust her with "playtime" intimacies. This MUST be delivered with the mellow confidence of an "assumed given fact" rather than the nervous apprehension of "OH-MY-GOD-DON'T-TELL-ANYONE!!!". Believe me, mellow confidence is far easier to project AFTER lovemaking than BEFORE! This won't guarantee that she'll be discreet, but it'll sure help. If worse should c0me to worse and word gets out, just hold your head up and say the truth- namely that you two got a bit wild and got into a little rollicking good kinky fun, and she didn't keep intimate stuff private. SHE will be the one looked down on in that circumstance, not you! REMEMBER!- ALL of this is just freewheeling, giddy fun, NOT some big, huge deal!>What ever you do don't forget the most important part, namely to tell us about how things go! Good luck, Vic