 
Balletlover - Balletmania
written by Ballerina Boy at on 30.01. at 16:01:23 - as answer to: Hi by Maverick >Hi, my name is Maverick and I am a nineteen year old undergraduate student residing in New York. This is my firs posting, although I have been intermittenly reading, writing, and engaging myself with the material presented here. I am extremely private about my odd fetish and have never really revealed it straightforwardly to anyone aside from providing glimpses like expressing the preference of tight-fitting jeans or white socks or the liking of the sensual feel of lycra or spandex. >Since I've been reaping the benefits of this board for sometime, I feel it only equal that I contribute my own experiences for the benefits of others. When I was at around the age five, I used to steal my mother's pantyhose while she was away or busy and keep them in my drawers for future use. I would get a thrill out of wearing them in my sleep under my pajamas and would absolutely love the sensual feel that the pajamas would provide, since they were rather tight clothing as well. I wore them over my briefs back then, so I enjoyed only the sensual aspect and not the sexual aspect.>There were a few times when I was caught. On one occasion my mother came upstairs and supposedly noticed that I was wearing the tights from my Robin Hood costume from Halloween during my sleep. She explained, "Some people wear tights at night, but they're a hassle to wear during the day." Nothing much was said. I was caught a few more times, and at one point my mother placed a pair of female skirts inside my drawers. I think she had the impression that I had a newfound liking for crossdressing, although that was far from the case. >In sixth grade, our graduating class had to perform a Shakespeare play with works including "The Three Witches," "Romeo and Juliet," etc. And yes, we had to wear hose. I felt myself galvanized at the view of others wearing hose, and for a twelve year old experiencing the chemical rages of puberty at the time, this was a rather uncomfortable yet slightly exciting experience.>My association with tights became sexual when I had my first sexual encounter with them while wearing them alone. I was alone in the house and wearing two pairs of tights and jeans over them; I have a great liking for that because of the sensual feel! From time to time I noticed wet spots on my tights but was not aware that it was preejaculate. But when I was sitting on the rim of my bed with my two pairs of tights, I shifted my erection over to the center becaue it was shifted towards the right and discomforting me - and that shifting of movement was accompanied by sudden rapid twitchings - and sent me running for the bathroom not knowing what happened.>I don't remember being scared, confused, or bewildered. I just washed my two pairs and didn't really think too deeply of the situation, although I realized that the chemicals I released were the same with that of my nocternal emissions - kind of brownish colored. After that I experienced a steady increase in frequency that I would wear and hump my bed, and found the sensual feel to be absolutely exquisite - and still do.>After moving to my dormitory for the first time, I ordered my first pair of white Capezio tight via on-line since I opened my own bank account and subsequently received my own credit card here. I was shocked at what I was doing but was shaking when I received the package in my hands. Needless to say what I did with them after I took the elevator upstairs. (My favorite attire would be wearing Diesel jeans with white Capezio tights under them and semi or short lengthed socks over the tights, and maybe Converse shoes. When engaging at my sensual seeking means alone, I get a thrill out of looking at my own tights disappearing under my socks - I think it's an absolute turn-on.)>I have in no way shape or form ever talked to anyone else explicitly on my liking of tights. My dad was kind of abusive with me since I was a child, and I wonder now if it was a childhood attempt to "feel," a subsequent repercussion from always repressing my own needs and feelings in the presence of my emotionally turbulent dad. I think that I lead a relatively "numb" childhood because I found myself suppressing my own thoughts, feelings, and emotions - but am thankful that I recently realized this. Even if the moment is transient, tights allow for me to experience my own feelings, through whatever means. My mom said that I used to carry around a blanket for a good portion of my infant years. This sensual liking and need of "contact comfort" may be attributed to some deep longing that I perpetually exhibit even to this day. I am recently beginning to find out more about myself, that I exhibit the tendencies of "Adult Children of Divorce," and that process addictions like masturbating in tights and the need to feel strong emotions are just one of the many characteristics I can relate to.>Even if the tights are a manifestation of my childhood trauma, or if it is a true personal interest, I truly enjoy the sensual aspect of the tights. I can enjoy them without the sexual aspect - although that may be kind of difficult - since the sensual aspect was what originally got me into it. I apologize for the psychology jargon that's beginning to flood into my text - I'm a psych major.>I am very fearful of taking this first step, but I feel the need for my story to be heard, regardless of whether it'll be received positively or negatively. I would appreciate any constructive feedback as to the thoughts or feelings concerning my text. If anyone could relate, then that's a plus too. I live in midtown New York, and again, am age nineteen undergraduate student. Traumatic childhood memories keep me from fully engaging in social scenes most of the time, but I force myself to engage in volunteer activities and have acquired social skills to some degree. If anyone would be interested in meeting and talking in person, then it'd be of immense interest - e-mail me - considering that I've never done anything like this in my life.>Ciao,>Maverick Welcome!! Glad you decided to share with us, what we all understand. There is no shame in desiring to wear tights and leotards. Feel free to tell us more about yourself whenever you feel like it. Forever in pink tights,Ballerina Boy Answers to this message: |
