 
Balletlover - Balletmania
written by Dep on 19.02. at 23:08:46 >>>The Sappers will be back, but I just dreamed this one up, and I wanted to give it to y'all while it was still fresh from the oven, as I think it's pretty hot myself, and it baits christians, always a good thing in my book. It's Liturgical Dance Time, HIT-AH! (You're lookin' good, a big strong line...) >>>Boy, was Malcolm in the wrong spot on the globe. Ohio, round about the part of the bible belt where the buckle was. Mal's problem was that he didn't believe one word he'd ever heard in church. Early on, he saw the silliness and hypocrasy of his family's branch of christianity, and he was glad to be counting the last days of his time there. Soon, he would be hearing from the schools he'd applied to, and choose one. His parents were, of course, pushing him to go to the local bible college, but he was holding firm for an arts school in Nebraska.>>>When the letter came, he was elated. He had been accepted at Nebraska, and would recieve one fat scholarship. He was on his way out.>>>The church ladies, upon hearing of his intention to study acting, were of one mind: temptation, the devil, the usual superstitions. Of course, Mal was counting on the temptation part. And he was becoming more amused than insulted by their ham-fisted attempts to impose their morality upon him. Jacqueline Harris, the Uberlieutenant of the church ladies, feigned delight at Mal's opportunity to get some heathens born-again, and her daughter Eileen was referring to his going there as "missionary work." >>>Mal, for his part, was going to stick with "narrow escape.">>>There was, of course, that one girl Mal's age who shared his view, but the climate pretty much forbid them from speaking in public. The CLs knew a dangerous combination when they saw it. Christian girl from the wrong side of the tracks "falls in love with" the "town rebel.">>>Mal had gotten the "rebel" tag when he was twelve, and wrote joke answers in his religious instruction workbook. It was that kind of town.>>>The only glimmer of culture in this backwater, unless you copunt the snake-handlers, was "Dance XPlosion!!" (BOTH exclamation points were part of the company's DBA.) Ballet (they were "blessed" with a very competent teacher, who unfortunately, was one of the few Jews in town,) Jazz Dance (though the jazz dance here, taught by Mal's older sister, was more Kenny G jazz than, say, Fosse,) and class after class in Liturgical. Every girl in town took LD, it seemed, and at the dancewear store attached to the school, liturgical gowns outsold even black leotards.>>>The DX liturgical style was basically one of these flowing, loose dresses (guaranteed not to ofend the lord,) or for the more bold, a long flowing skirt over a leotard (with, of course, a bra underneath.) Tan tights and ghillies were the leg-and-foot coverage, and there was an odd preoccupation with leather dance booties among some of the older girls.>>>Mal found himself in a room full of these girls one afternoon, on a mission. He wove his way through the LD girls in the lobby, and waited at the classroom door. Christian jazz-dance music was coming from the other side.>>>Suddenly the music stopped, and after some muffled shouts and laughter, the door opened and twelve sweaty, laughing teenage girls poured out in leotards and tights. They slid past Mal in the crowded lobby, their legs a delightful panorama of colored nylon, always in motion, always fascinating.>>>Finally his sis, a large but pretty young woman in her late twenties, came to the door. She was wearing a DX T-shirt over a royal blue spandex unitard, and dance sneakers.>>>"Hi, Malcolm. So, what can I do for you?">>>"Well, I figured I'd be able to minister to a lot more sinners if I took some dance classes when I went to college...">>>"Good thinking. Praise Jesus!" She clapped her hands together and raised her eyes.>>>"But I want to know some stuff before I took a class. Could you, uh...">>>"Show you some dance moves?">>>"I was thinking more along the lines of private lessons. I can pay you, and.." (pay for your silence, he finished in thought.)>>>"No payment necessary.">>>"Seriously?">>>"Favor.">>>"What favor?">>>"Take LD. My class.">>>"Aw, sis, c'mon. You know I think LD looks silly, and isn't your class advanced?">>>"The school has been giving me trouble, praise god, for my jazz class. If I could get a guy with your reputation to take Liturgical, I might get a little breathing room with Jazz, see?">>>Mal's sister was one of those more practical christians. >>>Four days later, Mal was sitting in that same room in loose, soft cotton pants and an oversize T-shirt, his feet bare. Girls in LD dresses and tan tights began trickling in, saying hello and god bless to Mal as he stretched. Class start passed, and one of the girls offered to start the class warmup.>>>Mal tiptoed into the office area, and found his sister in heated conversation with the woman who ran the school. >>>"It is the RULES.">>>"It's UNNECESSARY.">>>"You BROTHER wants to DANCE. Don't you want to know if he's ONE OF THEM?">>>"I know my brother. He's...">>>"A TROUBLEMAKER." This was, by the way, the same woman who'd discovered what Mal had done with his RI homework.>>>"He'll quit, I know he will.">>>"Then, praise Jesus, we can pray for him with a clear conscience. HE WEARS THEM. If he seems to LIKE wearing them, I expect the girls, and YOU, to notify me. That is all.">>>Mal scampered back into the studio, the warmup now in full swing. After a minute, the woman who owned the school emerged, her face a tight mask of perpetual indignation. A few minutes later, Mal's sister appeared in the doorway, and called him over. >>>She was holding a pair of tan tights. To Be Continued! Answers to this message:
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