I'd reccommend you find men's dancewear. As you said, you don't want to risk looking gay or like a man who wants to be a female. Wearing womens dancewear may be acceptable in some studios, but with serious professional studios it's an insult.
Dr. Dancebelt - It was rude that you said those comments about him not wanting to look gay. He didn't say that he hated gay people, he just said that he didn't want to look gay. That is 100% understandable. We all have preferences as to how we look, and we are constantly being judged by people. Dancing is very athletic, and there's nothing to say you can't dance and still be a man, though some choose to try and be women.
Many People also have a very steriotypical and negative view of gays. In some areas looking gay will get you humiliated or even shot.[/i]