Ballet Buddy, you state, "...and I once again felt like a geek ousider." Isn't that the real problem? Forget boxers vs. briefs. You sound like you want to be with the "in" crowd, and that this has been problematic for you as much outside of dance as in.
All I can advise you is that you're dealing with a "pack" mentality - a bunch of guys who have known one another for awhile, probably hang together and do stuff when they're not dancing, and are hostile to outsiders. That they are dancers, who probably face external hostility on that score, makes their bond tighter, and harder for you to crack.
The way into this crowd is to try befriending them individually. Together, they may be too formidable. But there must be at least one of them who is more approachable when separated from the rest. You are the best judge of who that might be, and what the optimum time for contact would be. Are there other non-dance events you might be likely to see any of them at? Do you attend the same school? Do you know of any other interests you might have in common? Any mutual friends?
Also, be friendly, but not too eager - desperation is easily detected. Keep your cool and stay courteous if rebuffed.
Hope this helps.[/i]