hehehe
I think you should rush madly out to the biggest city in your country and demand that the best ballet company there pay you to dance for them.
Then, when they tell you to get out, just pull your tights on over your lard-filled legs and stuff the artsy-fartsy know-nothings face between your butt-cheeks.
He will either hire you as a bouncer (hmmm... ballet bouncer... hey, it could happen) or die from the fetid funk-stink that is your encrusted butt.[/i]