>>>>>There are, once again, several options to find a dance tutor.
You can call any dance company, and they don't have to be local. Often the receptionist will help direct you to someone on the inside, but you can always ask to talk to the artistic director. (Always be ready to tell them how much you loved their production of whatever, etc. Flattery always helps!)
Ask them if they know of anyone who would give private lessons or coaching. Ask for teachers they'd recommend. Ask if there are any company members, present or former members, who might be interested in teaching/coaching. Ask them if they have any former company members who live in your area who might be available.
Any reputable school should help. You can get school names out of the phone book, from the back of DanceMagazine, etc., but avoid calling schools like "Little Lucy's School of Tap, Ballet & Basketweaving." Schools seem to respond positively to questions the include statements like "...and do you have studio space I could rent out for the lessons?" Typically I would call schools that are associated with some type of local performing company, such as their own company, or in their ads you'll see "Home of the Podunk Perfoming Ballet." They need choreographs, etc. to help stage performances, and many of these types will be willing to make extra money --- er, I mean to help an aspiring dance student.
One advantage you have as a male is that many schools need guys for performances, if not just for "character roles" such as the king who walks around the dancers, the spear-carrying guard, etc. If you'd like to do something like that, you can mention that, too.
On aside comment, dance companies that stage performances are always looking for supers, or supernumararies, the kind of people that stand around on stage to make the company look real big (e.g. party-goers, palace guards, mobs). Companies on tour also look for supers in a local area when a performance is scheduled. You may find this fun. And you'll learn quite a lot from watching the pros that close up!
Books and instructions videos vary so much. But if they have the right words that happen to "click" they're worth a fortune. I don't have any special favorites.
"Spotting!" I still can't spot properly! I've heard of the famous ballerina Alicia Markova, who spotted by focusing on four separate spots, like the corners or the walls, as she turned. I haven't met anyone who knew of this method and found it works. But I would suggest of trying quarter-turns, then half-turns as practice, spotting each new position you're going into.
Good luck! [/i]