I have been dancing ballet for 3-4 years now.  Some of you are aware that I am taking a college Intermediate Ballet 2 class.

I was in class today, as typically I am excited to get to class and look forward to it.  I get there, and the barre routine gets underway.  By the end of the barre routine I am pretty much no longer excited to be there.

Pretty much from there I get mentally/emotionally disjointed from class.  When center floor starts seldom do I have an emotional mind to body connection that relaxes to the point where I may consider myself a "dancer".  Then when difficult combinations get underway I feel incapable and stutter across the floor.  More basic movements I can get through, each movement on it's own is also very doable.

This being said.  Much of my anxiety revolves around being so caught up in the proper technique set forth by excellent instruction, my personal reading and looking at dance step graphics to watching other students that I think of so highly.  Basically most of the time I know exactly what I should be doing.

I get so caught up in my head and as soon as I release and let go to the point where "I get out of my head" some portion of my technique falters and the instructor is right there correcting me.  So in my head while I am moving (I wont even call it dancing at this point) I am constantly recorrecting myself to keep from being corrected and then I am hardly emotionally connected with what I Am doing.  And this goes for just about every class I have taken in the past couple years.

For some reason I want to "FEEL LIKE A DANCER", just to have that intuitive sense that allows my body to be free and me to be emotionally expressive.

I dont know if I am being overly hard on myself or my instructors are being too critical of me but I am starting to feel overburdened.

I have a passion to dance, an overwhelming will to be good at it, a body that is flexible and strong enought to support that will.  But a brain and heart that is ready to give up.

I have been at this plateau of "being capable to execute movement" but not being "emotionally attached to movement" for about 2 years now.  It was only today that the revelation came to me and I have notice why I am disjointed and possibly sticatto at trying to attempt barre and center combinations.

What am I to do?Where should I look for inspiration?When should I expect a change?How should I implement critism and yet be free?

In one word:HELP!

• The problem...it's an intellectual question! - balletboy - 20.02. 02:18:24
  • Thanks for an intellectual answer... - Mancer at - 20.02. 17:42:14