written by   on 16.08. at 16:19:49

I suspect you're being hard on yourself; unless your desires threaten anyone in any way, I don't see that they really are unacceptable (except to one or two vociferous 'hard-liners'. A minority, I believe, who can probably be ignored.) Put bluntly, if you feel like going to class to see kids, (which I'm sure you don't), get help. If you feel like going to class in a tutu, don't, because you'll upset people.

If you feel like going to class for the experience of wearing the clothes or a similar sense of personal freedom, then I strongly suggest you do. If it doesn't appeal to you after all, you'll have satisfied the curiosity. If you do enjoy yourself, I suspect you'll rapidly find it's because of the dance and the physical activity; in which case you'll have converted what you might feel is an 'unhealthy' interest in to a wonderful, perfectly respectable hobby, which will do you a lot of physical and mental good.

After much soul-searching, though, I decided that taking ballet classes was something that I simply had to do to realise the full person inside me.

If it's as much an inner, emotional desire as a sensual motivation, then definitely go for it. Suppressing that will not do you much good as a person.

> When a person has a passion I think that it creates an enormous amount of energy that if channelled in the right way can lead to incredible achievement in a particular field. But if the person feels they have to deny that passion, this energy builds up and has to be released somehow, and the mind creates a fetish as the release mechanism.

I'd agree entirely - the sense that something is somehow 'forbidden' is a tremendously powerful force. I reckon one of the reasons I got in to ballet in the first place was the 'forbidden' factor: I come from a background where ballet definitely isn't 'the kind of thing I should be doing', and my immediate response to that was to sign up for class. The sense of defiance is wonderful!

..... that ballet is a weird interest for a male.

And so it is, by the standards of 'Joe Redneck'. But then so is classical music, art, and any other vaguely sensual or intellectual pursuit. Such things are often wrongly classified as 'feminine', because today's society has reached an unhealthy situation where men are encouraged to deny many such natural inclinations and characteristics.

The most damaging manifestation of this is Communication - men are not supposed to discuss anything deeper or more personal than their views on who should be in the baseball team next season. (This cultural quirk probably accounts for the sad fact that the male suicide rate is at least double the female suicide rate - we're not supposed to have feelings, and if we do, we certainly shouldn't talk about them.) I feel that boards like this are in fact terribly valuable. But we do need to keep the fetish-fantasy stuff to a minimum, because it's obstructive.

Well - I for one put my hand up and say that I haven't got the guts to take ballet, but hope that one day I will.

In which case let me give you every encouragement to go ahead and do so. I suspect that many men are put off ballet and suchlike, because they feel it will somehow jeopardise their identity as a man - it doesn't. I have absolutely no doubt about my identity, and surprisingly I feel more 'masculine' in ballet class than anywhere else. We're different - we look different, we're built differently, we wear different clothes, we jump higher, we have our own steps. Since I started taking classes, nothing about me has changed, except that I'm fitter, more cheerful, and much less stressed. So don't be afraid!

I don't have any intention of being kept out of ballet class by cultural prejudice against male sensuality & self-expression, any more than I intend to stop listening to classical music because it can move me close to tears^*. I love dancing. That's the way I am, and that's the way I will remain - anyone that attempts to stop me will have trouble.

Good luck!

Anthony

^* OK, so sometimes they're tears of laughter (Stockhausen? -grin- )